Caregiving isn’t easy by any means. I suggest constantly reassessing your own needs along with the needs of your loved ones to get clear on what’s needed. Determine what you can move off your plate through hired help. Seek out government resources to see what you qualify for. For example, if one of your in-laws qualify for veteran benefits or Medicaid. Elder Care Locator (provide link) is a great resource for finding local agencies that provide assistance.

Caregiving can bring out parts of each of your personalities that you’ve never seen before. Especially if there are any unresolved issues, personality clashes or differences of opinions on personal care. Take the time to communicate openly with your mother to determine her wants and needs and then make your own known to her. Together, you can properly decide on the best plan of action moving forward. Don’t forget to solicit help whenever necessary.

You’re right, in order to provide proper care for a loved one, it takes a village. Your family needs to understand this. If you don’t feel properly supported by your family members, you need to let them know about it. Work with them to figure out a coverage schedule to create opportunities for you to get the break you need for proper care. I speak more about this in my blog “These Self-Care Strategies Can Help Caregivers Cope with Burnout”. Hopefully you can find some tips there that will work well with your lifestyle.

I’ve had some experience with this as well while caring for my mother. Based on your description, I suggest getting a full physical exam scheduled for your mom. Generally, drastic behavioral changes are indicative of physical changes. Take heed to the results and any advice from the medical team. Good luck!

Yes, I’ve had plenty of experiences with both the power struggle with a parent and refusal to cooperate and comply. I suggest being as patient as you can with your father by explaining in detail the benefits of cooperating to improve the caregiving experience for you both. In terms of the medical compliance, including a health care professional as a neutral 3rd-party member in your conversations may create more willingness with your father to adhere to doctor’s orders. Please note that getting a legal healthcare proxy is required for any type of decision-making regarding your father’s care. I recommend reading my blogs: “How to Deal with Your Mother’s Refusal for Health Treatment and Try for Consent” and “6 Essential Legal and 11 Non-Legal Documents for Your Caregiving Toolbox”. Good luck and I hope this helps!

Share your thoughts. Feel free to add GIFs, videos, #hashtags and more to your posts and comments. Get started by commenting below.

We'd love to get to know you better. Take a moment to say hi to the community in the comments.

We want everyone to get the most out of this community, so we ask that you please read and follow these guidelines: Respect each other Keep posts relevant to the forum topic No spamming