ABOUT OUR CAREGIVING JOURNEY
"I'm committed to making sure you, as a caregiver, have an easy and comprehensive "go to source" for information, experienced advice, and community support.
This support has been painstakingly built during and after my caregiving journey."
- Elisabeth Logan
Meet Elisabeth Logan
For over twenty years, I was my mother's full-time primary caregiver, from pre-diagnosis to a "total care" patient in our home. For the last fifteen years, my mother received more than thirty hours of caregiver support for bathing, dressing, meal prep, bed prep, personal care, and hospice until her passing in July of 2022. She died of complications from Multiple Sclerosis at the age of 87.
I was sure I had to embrace the role of her caregiver when my mother became ill, as I observed her struggles with everyday activities. I was her only child and her only contact in Ohio. Unfortunately, I wasn't prepared for this role and experienced anxiety and anger for what I perceived would be a significant imposition on my life. The timing was terrible. I had moved back to Ohio to start a new life after my divorce, and my mother needed my help. But, I reasoned, how could I give to my mother before giving to myself?
I had always known my mother as an independent, self-sufficient woman who took pride in taking opportunities head-on. After my parent's divorce, my mother moved to another city to find work while I was in middle school. Much to her dismay, she reluctantly agreed to let me live with my father. After thirty years of living apart in different cities, my mother moved back to be closer to me, and I had to learn to adjust quickly to her proximity and the development of her needs.
At first, I noticed startling mental changes, which triggered me to seek professional help on her behalf. But unfortunately, my mother could not see any changes in herself, and as I began to push for her to seek medical care, the tension grew between us. Due to her resistance to seeking medical help, it took a few years to receive her Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis.
There was much to learn to help my mother as her needs changed.
I helped my mother make many financial, legal, and healthcare decisions during this time and needed to rely on professional guidance and research of my own.
While it was undoubtedly difficult for my mother to willingly accept the help, she knew she was safe, cared for, and respected her wishes throughout her illness. As a result, our time together challenged our relationship and strengthened our bond.
I have the experience to understand the emotional, mental, and economic adjustments that come with becoming an unexpected caregiver for a loved one. One of my challenges was doing what was best for her while considering what was best for my personal needs. I learned how to balance both her needs and mine. There was a give and take. I knew when I could take the time for myself and understood when I needed to be fully present for my mother. It wasn't perfect, but it worked for us to have a healthy relationship. I worked full-time, traveled, had hobbies, and had time for friends and dating because I relied on a team of caregivers.
If I had the choice today, I would be my mother's caregiver again without hesitation.
I created Our Caregiving Journey to assure you you can live an entire life as a confident, caring, and capable caregiver. This site will offer resources to answer questions, reduce the impact of your learning curve, offer support, and share other caregivers' stories to decrease your feeling of aloneness. I invite you to connect with an understanding tribe of caregivers. I assure you you can live an entire life as a confident, caring, and capable caregiver.
Since my mother passed away last summer, I have been living alone with my two cats, learning to adjust to my new normal. I work full-time as a broadcast media sales manager. I am learning French and love reading, listening to music, hiking, and traveling.
I hope you'll be inspired to share your journey or to reach out and help another on this site.
Elisabeth Logan